Partners seek couples counseling for many reasons and at various stages of their relationships. Some are hoping to better understand each other and strengthen their relationship early on while others have become embroiled in conflict and feel they have reached an impasse. Often couples find themselves repeatedly drawn in to conflicts with similar content (money, parenting, sharing responsibilities, sex) or form (one approaches, the other withdraws; one asserts, the other submits, but resents). Over time these patterns of relating to one another can interfere with the feelings of love, intimacy, and connectedness we desire in our relationships.
In couples counseling, I strive to create a safe, fair, and collaborative environment in which each partner can freely express thoughts and feelings and come to feel heard and understood. I also help couples identify and alter the troublesome patterns in their relationships, often with insight into how they developed in the first place. By recognizing when problems in the present interaction are connected to past relational experiences, we are able to interrupt the cycle of conflict and blame, expand the capacity for empathy and understanding, and allow for the possibility of new ways of relating to emerge in the therapy.
I see couples in my practice seeking to address a variety of problems and goals, including:
- Relationship difficulties
- Conflict, frequent fighting or arguing
- Lack of intimacy, feeling disconnected
- Sexual problems
- Infidelity, separation, divorce
- Disagreements about values, important life decisions, parenting style
- Improving communication
- Building a strong, loving relationship
- Adjusting to new life events or circumstances (marriage, cohabitation, child birth, infertility issues, etc.)
I welcome LGBT/queer couples and people in nontraditional relationships.
If you are interested in couples counseling, I encourage you to contact me with any questions you may have or to schedule an initial consultation. If you think individual psychotherapy might be more suited to your needs, you can learn more about my services for individuals here.
Chad T. Allen, MA, LPCC
Therapist for Individuals & Couples